After viewing the gay ensemble film The Broken Hearts Club--the subtitle of which helpfully points out that it's "a romantic comedy"--you might feel as if you've been offered a discussion conundrum not unlike the kind that Mike Myers's Linda "Coffee Talk" Richman would put forward: "The Broken Hearts Club is neither romantic nor comedic. Discuss." What it is; rather; is a gay male version of Steel Magnolias; right down to the funeral scene and hospital visit. While decidedly less melodramatic than that Southern chick flick; it still aspires to a kind of big-group love-in feeling that's only vaguely comic. And romance? Well; there's some somewhere; when the characters aren't carping about how the only thing they're good at is being gay. They all wrestle with their Big Issues--should Patrick (Ben Weber) donate sperm so his sister can have a baby with her lesbian lover? Will cynical Dennis (Timothy Olyphant) finally admit he loves just-out-of-the-closet Kevin (Andrew Keegan)? How will love-'em-and-leave-'em Cole (Dean Cain) feel when he's rejected by the closeted movie star?--but to little effect; despite some snappy one-liners and occasional keen observances of gay culture. Writer-director Greg Berlanti's screenplay still feels about two or three drafts away from completion; and when faced with stalling action; he opts for a montage set to one of many Carpenters' songs (covers; not the actual hits themselves). Kudos go to the acidic Weber for infusing what could have been a whiny character with a dry; intelligent wit; and the surprisingly charming Cain; who makes Cole someone you can't really hate too much despite all his faults--it would be like hating a puppy. If only all the characters were half as appealing. --Mark Englehart